Don't read this post if you don't want to here me whine. It's not gonna be interesting or insightfull.
"Why haven't you posted in forever?" I hear you ask. Read on.
I have been busier and more stressed out the last 3 1/2 months than at any other time in my life. I am usually in the math building from 8:00 AM to at least 12:00 AM every day.
In early October, the hour both ways commute finally wore me down to the point that I got an apartment near school. It is tiny and smelly, but it's somewhere to crash. Whoever lived there before my must have smoked like a forest fire, beucase I go to work everyday smelling like I had a pack or two before breakfast. This obviously does not help my allergies any: since I moved in there I've had a nagging cough and have been hacking up some nast for a while. TB anyone?
Because of the apartment, I am able to stay up here until the wee hours of the morning. However, it means that I only see Brian a few days out of the week: usually just the weekends. I hate this, but I must admit that I'm doing better in my classes because of it.
I teach 3 sections of college algebra. I started off teaching only 2, but in the middle of the semester they decided to start a "drop back" class for students who were failing higher level courses like finite, precal and trig. I teach nine hours a week, and usually spend my correspoinging 9 office hours tutoring the high maintainance students from the dropback class. I make fill in the blank notes and lots of supplementary handouts becuase the book we use SUCKS, so I have to spend at least 10 hours per chapter working on that. ( So we've got 30 hours a week for teaching)
I'm taking 10 graduate hours (which is like taking 20 undergrad). I spend pretty much all my weeknights doing homework (30-40 hours?), plus weekends. This would not be so bad if I actually liked math for math's sake...
I chose my major becuase I knew I would be employable, not becuase I particularly enjoy math or becuase I am better at it than I am at other things. I like to teach, and I like to learn, but the kind of stress I am going through is not worth it.
So if, after all my effort, I don't do well enough this semester to pass my classes (Advanced Calculus specifically), it's not gonna break my heart. It will mean that I get to go home and live in my beatiful house instead of a crappy apartment. It will mean that I get to see my husband every day instead of just on the weekends. It will mean that I stop feeling tired and sick all the time becuase I will get enough sleep.
Even after all that if I pass, I'll stay in. I like quitting things less than I like grad school :-p
If you are in grad school, or are considering going (don't go! Runawayrunaway!!!), you MUST read this comic!
http://www.phdcomics.com It's all true.
